Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize