now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize