that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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