Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize