Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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