How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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