I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Randomize