i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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