Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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