just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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