Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize