I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize