I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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