Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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