its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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