the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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