If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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