My liver just broke up with me...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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