some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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