You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize