i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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