that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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