look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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