This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize