So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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