i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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