And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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