Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize