so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize