well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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