After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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