If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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