just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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