i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize