grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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