U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
dude. I can hear the air.
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