1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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