What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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