Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize