ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize