i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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