We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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