so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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