Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize