end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
try to milk me bitch
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