So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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