So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize