how can u be prego again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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