I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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