Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize